This notice appeared in our daily programme this morning and
was also read out by the captain on the tannoy:
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IMPORTANCE NOTICE: BUNKERING OPERATION
During our last bunkering operation in Singapore on 24th
March we took delivery of thousands of tons of contaminated heavy fuel
oil. This fuel is unusable for our
diesel electric motors and therefore until we reach Mumbai we need to use Queen
Elizabeth’s gas turbines. These powerful
auxiliary motors are normally only used to supplement our power and therefore
we carry a limited supply of fuel for them.
Fortunately due to their ecologically sound design we can use a variety
of household and everyday items as potential fuel sources. The most effective of these is the lotic gas
produced from the burning of sun tan lotion.
We need your help. We have a receptacle in the Grand Lobby on deck One
and if everyone onboard donates a squirt of suntan lotion then we calculate
that we will be able to produce enough lotic gas to power the Gas Turbines and
help us reach Mumbai on time. Thank you
for your support with this unusual situation – together we can ensure a timely
arrival in Mumbai.
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The container was marked up in miles – apparently we need 60
miles worth of sun tan lotion. By
mid-day the marker is up to 45 miles.
Lots of it is being donated by Germans and Americans – fun to watch!
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